Charlize Cardenas

Artist statement

Going abroad in Italy, I had many conflicts about how I label myself as an artist. I also realized I might not be as passionate about art as others. I think I focus so much on other people and how I wish I pursued different careers, that it was hard for me to have a more serious focus on art. I often don¡¯t feel like I think properly like an artist.

I had such a hard time trying to figure out what I wanted for my SI. I went through lots of trial and error that came into fruition during the midterm critique. I didn¡¯t create a piece that was exactly important to me. I am used to just being a realism artist, as I thought those were my limits on what made me great. The students helped me realize that and tried to encourage me to think in a more personal, perhaps abstract manner.

So, I¡¯ve tried to think more personally on why it is I chose to come here for study abroad. I honestly just wanted to learn how to be a better artist. I wanted to get out of the environment I situated myself in, to clear my mind and try to be better. I didn¡¯t realize how popular Florence was until I came, and then I saw it. The streets are flooding with people traveling all the time. Being here a while, I've grown to be a bit bothered by how saturated everything feels. It¡¯s a bit difficult to find the authenticity in it all.

Ithink this can also be a reflection on how I look at myself. Everything feels very blocked off, and it¡¯s hard for me to recognize my internal emotions, so I have to truly dig deep into myself to find out what it is I¡¯m thinking.
So, I¡¯ve tried approaching my emotions about myself and being here through a more literal sense. I like gritty themes and large detail, but I also love realism too.

So, if this was going to be a personal exhibition, I thought it would be nice to show how I was feeling but in a more literal sense, through facial expressions and body horror. Cause it feels like that¡¯s the only way for me to get through to myself, is through actually cutting and seeing what¡¯s inside. The sketchy, unfinished parts are also a reflection of how I¡¯m still figuring myself out, and nothing is ever truly going to be finished. There are still so many works I wish I could flesh out and put into this show, but that will have to be postponed.

It¡¯s going to take a while, but I think being in Italy helped me more with figuring out my technique and what I should work on more, and I¡¯ll never forget the moments I¡¯ve made. I¡¯ll truly miss it all.